Thriving While Living with Chronic Illness

By Ginny Jacobs, MS, LP, LMFT

Life for most people with chronic conditions is challenging, and quality of life issues are more central than for the general population.  Living well with chronic illness requires good problem solving skills, access to quality health care services, a supportive social network, a good sense of humor, steadfast determination, and health-promoting lifestyle choices.

Chronic Illness Affects Multiple Dimensions
Chronic illness is expensive for the person with the condition, families, service providers and coordinators of those services.  It costs our society in underutilized talent and loss of productivity.  Chronic illness affects the whole of one's life.  It puts stress on relationships, as family members and close friends may be required to be caregivers and advocates.  If the person with the chronic health problem is a parent, children may be inadvertently placed in a care giving role. Better than average self-care skills are vital for the entire family to function well and avoid burnout.

And Most People Don't Even Know I'm Sick
The needs of people with "invisible" chronic illnesses can be different from those with more visible conditions.  It is interesting to note that people with invisible conditions will often comment that they wish they were in a wheelchair because then others would realize that they have special needs. In this way, their internal experience would be in concert with external perceptions.  Presently there is discussion among service providers and consumers about the detriments and benefits of the label "chronic illness".  Though it may carry a stigma, it also may qualify the person for greater access to important services.

Think Outside the Box
The impact on an individual's self esteem can be profound.  By not rigidly insisting on a particular path to goal attainment, the negative impact on a person's self-esteem can be minimized.  All of us like to succeed, to believe that we can accomplish whatever is most important to us. Most of us are used to planning a specific trajectory in sequentially ordered form. We usually create for ourselves the most efficient method to reach our goals. For people with chronic illness, however, a different model is necessary. The path to goal achievement is usually more circuitous and unpredictable.    It may take longer to accomplish even simple tasks, and require a more fluid approach to arriving at one's destination.  Often, a more flexible work schedule is necessary.

Our Unique Contributions
Our country was founded on the values of independence and self-reliance.  For that reason, needing help from others, especially if it is more than occasional, can be emotionally difficult.  We all like to think of
ourselves as capable human beings.  Because of stereotypes, people with chronic illnesses are often devalued and misunderstood.  This can result in guilt, shame, anger and social isolation.  It is imperative that the contributions of people with chronic illnesses be considered and given a voice. Many people with chronic conditions report that their own understanding of suffering often provides a doorway to increased compassion for others

There's Always Hope
Not all of the news is bad, and the outcome is certainly not hopeless.  Those who live well with chronic illness will tell you that they've not only lost, but also gained.  Most often they will share stories about the joy of simple things, discovery of internal strength they didn't realize they possessed, and increased appreciation for family and friends.  Sometimes a state of inner peace and serenity develops because the meaning of life comes less from external achievements and more from internal knowledge and acceptance. Ultimately, people who make a healthy adjustment to living with chronic illness learn to focus on strengths and competencies, embracing what they can accomplish within the limits imposed by illness. They empower themselves by making healthy lifestyle choices.

Suggestions for Thriving
-Develop a healthy lifestyle including exercise and a well-balanced diet.
-Develop a strong support system.
-Keep a great sense of humor.
-Practice flexibility in goal achievement and attitude.
-Celebrate the good things in life.
-Never underestimate what you can do.
-Learn the value of acceptance.
-Find creative ways to express yourself.
-Ask for help when you need it
-Never give up

Ginny Jacobs, MS, LP, LMFT is a psychologist and family therapist at BHSI in Golden Valley.  Ginny earned her Guidance and Counseling master€™s degree in l983 and her clinical master€™s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy in l985, both from University of Wisconsin-Stout.  She works with individuals, couples, and families; and has special interests in wellness, health and healing, chronic illness, loss, crisis as opportunity, positive psychology, and integrative medicine.